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A more subtle distinction is to perceive the difference between afternoon tea and a dinner party. Afternoon tea entails sharing small bites of food and tea in “sacred space,” focusing with gratitude on the beauty of nature and the gift of community. A dinner party may encompass some of these same elements, but it will also include a full meal served at a dining table. The customary gift of a bottle of wine for a dinner party host would not be appropriate for afternoon tea. Obviously, the primary beverage at afternoon tea is tea. The host could choose to offer a cordial along with the tea, but if anything alcoholic is served at a tea party, it is in very small portions, and other beverages are always available. No one ever has the opportunity to get drunk at a tea party, enhancing the sense of trust among all the participants.

The conversation at a dinner party and afternoon tea will also differ. At a dinner party, people are likely to talk about their jobs, their families, travel, current events, sports and movies. At a tea party, on the other hand, guests talk about what is actually taking place in the moment—the changes in nature, the setting that the host has created: the flowers, the music, other artistic elements, the food, the tea. Even the dishes and serving pieces are worthy of comment at a tea party.

One might say that dinner party conversation focuses on the macrocosm, the larger world beyond the dining table. Conversely, afternoon tea conversation looks at the microcosm, the miniature world created by the host for the guests to enjoy. Once the guests have relaxed into this harmonious setting, this little world will no longer seem so small. Gradually, the guests will come to realize that everything needed for human contentment is here in this moment in this respectful little community.

We do not mean to suggest, of course, that afternoon tea could ever substitute for a religious path or a faith tradition. We believe that people who practice one of the world’s religions will find that afternoon tea complements the ethics and values taught within their religious tradition. And people who were raised without the guidelines associated with a religious organization might welcome the gentle structure and civilizing influence of afternoon tea.

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Though the comparison may seem a bit odd, Rose would like to share this poem she wrote after looking into a tide pool at the beach. Both tide pooling and afternoon tea force the participant to change focus, as though shifting from a telescope to a magnifying glass. Both show us the exquisite beauty of the miniature world.

                Tide Pooling

There is nothing here, you say--
Nothing to look at,
Just a sort of brown and soggy place
Here by the dunes--

Uneven rocks, hard to climb on,
Bumpy under your soles.
Then this nothing little pool
Stranded by the tide
Stuck in the sand and smelling salty.

Nevertheless, you crouch,
Wobbling a little, and peer in.
Nothing.
You were right--
Except, what is that anyway?

Oh, not that but those--
Are they little fishes?
Lots of them, small brown beings
Darting into dark corners.
And what?

Those feathery things,
Swaying as the tide laps lightly--
Sea urchins? Anemone?
Marine worms?
There are thousands of them on every rock
Waving to one another--

Or is it to you?
You stare amazed, and then you spot him--
The hermit crab, sidling sideways
With someone else’s shell atop him.
He makes his way past coral shrimp
With their striped arms.

How could you have failed to see
Those vibrant red beacons
Flashing into the shadows?
Are you the kind who would miss the spirits
Shouting in the sky?

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