Fortified by the precious gifts of harmony, humility, respect and creativity, the hostess turns her thoughts to afternoon tea. A tea party has an organic structure that will guide her as she begins the planning process. This is the same familiar structure that underlies a dinner party, a holiday gathering or a religious service. All of these events are comprised of four elements:
Gathering and Greeting
Sharing Stories
Sharing Food
Sending the Guests Home
A spark of inspiration has been kindled, and the hostess begins to visualize the tea party she wants to host. Does she want to celebrate the beauty of spring after a long winter? Does she want to organize a birthday tea in honor of her best friend? Does she want to affirm tradition by creating a classic British afternoon tea party? Once she has discerned her purpose, she will choose her guests. Who would enjoy the event she is planning? Should she invite friends who all know each other, or is there a special person who does not know the others but would enjoy their company? Would the hostess like to include people of various ages from children to elders? Will this be a ladies’ tea, or will gentlemen be invited as well?
Next, she will think about how many guests to invite. The ideal number of guests for a traditional British tea party in one’s living room would be from one to eight. However, if the hostess is brave enough to orchestrate a wedding reception tea for dozens or even hundreds of guests in a large hall or park, she will face the additional tasks of sending out formal invitations and making assigned seating arrangements. The latter requires great sensitivity on the hostess’ part.
The hostess at a large tea party gathering will want to provide the opportunity for people to make new friends. On the other hand, she does not want to seat an individual or a couple with eight other people who have been playing golf together twice a week for the past twenty years and don’t know how to talk about anything else. (Note to golfers: It is insensitive and impolite to discuss your golf game at any non-golf related social gathering.)
The hostess will have to use her intuition, along with her knowledge of her guests’ personalities and interests, to create a harmonious seating arrangement. The worst thing she could do when planning a large gathering, is to provide no seating assignments at all. This would be inviting chaos, and chaos is the opposite of afternoon tea.
Gathering and Greeting
Sharing Stories
Sharing Food
Sending the Guests Home
A spark of inspiration has been kindled, and the hostess begins to visualize the tea party she wants to host. Does she want to celebrate the beauty of spring after a long winter? Does she want to organize a birthday tea in honor of her best friend? Does she want to affirm tradition by creating a classic British afternoon tea party? Once she has discerned her purpose, she will choose her guests. Who would enjoy the event she is planning? Should she invite friends who all know each other, or is there a special person who does not know the others but would enjoy their company? Would the hostess like to include people of various ages from children to elders? Will this be a ladies’ tea, or will gentlemen be invited as well?
Next, she will think about how many guests to invite. The ideal number of guests for a traditional British tea party in one’s living room would be from one to eight. However, if the hostess is brave enough to orchestrate a wedding reception tea for dozens or even hundreds of guests in a large hall or park, she will face the additional tasks of sending out formal invitations and making assigned seating arrangements. The latter requires great sensitivity on the hostess’ part.
The hostess at a large tea party gathering will want to provide the opportunity for people to make new friends. On the other hand, she does not want to seat an individual or a couple with eight other people who have been playing golf together twice a week for the past twenty years and don’t know how to talk about anything else. (Note to golfers: It is insensitive and impolite to discuss your golf game at any non-golf related social gathering.)
The hostess will have to use her intuition, along with her knowledge of her guests’ personalities and interests, to create a harmonious seating arrangement. The worst thing she could do when planning a large gathering, is to provide no seating assignments at all. This would be inviting chaos, and chaos is the opposite of afternoon tea.
Rose wrote this poem to express her appreciation for the almost lost art of decorum. If you are not familiar with this word, look it up in a dictionary. Rose and Kathleen believe that decorum can come to life in the most ordinary situations, such as afternoon tea.
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Decorum The table is laid with Battenberg lace And the china is swirled with ethereal birds In ivy that circles and returns. Beside each cup, a silver tea strainer Rests on a silver stand. The accouterments glisten and glow Like mist on roses-- Marmalade murmuring with amber light Deep ruby preserves Honey in milk glass And Devonshire cream, reclining Like a cloud in crystal. The scones, buttoned up with currants, And the fragrant ginger cake Rest decoratively as lovely old ladies On white doilies. The strong dark tea slithers Through a swan-like spout, Scenting the afternoon with bergamot. A spoon tinkles like vesper chimes. And for moments on end Mayhem is held at bay. |
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Invitations
Once she has chosen her guests, the hostess will need to invite them. There are no rigid rules about tea party invitations. If the group will be small, a personal oral invitation or a phone call will suffice. The hostess must make sure that she actually talks to the guest. Voice mail invitations can lead to misunderstandings and no-shows. For this reason, among others, we frown on text message or email invitations, which are far too impersonal for the spirit of afternoon tea.
For large groups, printed invitations will be necessary. If the hostess has the ability to print invitations on her home computer, she could do so, but we emphasize again that all printed invitations should be tasteful and appropriate for the tea’s theme. The best invitation, other than a personal face-to-face invitation, is hand written. The hostess should choose elegant and tasteful stationary and include the date, time, location and a hint as to the tea party’s purpose or theme. Here is a sample:
You are invited to an afternoon tea to celebrate
St. Patrick’s Day
On Sunday, March 17,
From one to four PM
At the home of Kathleen Pedulla
(include address)
RSVP: (include telephone number)
For a large event, the invitations should be mailed at least a month beforehand. For a small gathering, two weeks should be enough time. However, the location and culture in which the hostess lives will influence her guests’ perception of time. Busy, over-scheduled urbanites might need their invitations more than a month in advance. It is also a nice touch to go to the Post Office and purchase some special stamps for the invitations, such as roses for a wedding tea.
Once she has chosen her guests, the hostess will need to invite them. There are no rigid rules about tea party invitations. If the group will be small, a personal oral invitation or a phone call will suffice. The hostess must make sure that she actually talks to the guest. Voice mail invitations can lead to misunderstandings and no-shows. For this reason, among others, we frown on text message or email invitations, which are far too impersonal for the spirit of afternoon tea.
For large groups, printed invitations will be necessary. If the hostess has the ability to print invitations on her home computer, she could do so, but we emphasize again that all printed invitations should be tasteful and appropriate for the tea’s theme. The best invitation, other than a personal face-to-face invitation, is hand written. The hostess should choose elegant and tasteful stationary and include the date, time, location and a hint as to the tea party’s purpose or theme. Here is a sample:
You are invited to an afternoon tea to celebrate
St. Patrick’s Day
On Sunday, March 17,
From one to four PM
At the home of Kathleen Pedulla
(include address)
RSVP: (include telephone number)
For a large event, the invitations should be mailed at least a month beforehand. For a small gathering, two weeks should be enough time. However, the location and culture in which the hostess lives will influence her guests’ perception of time. Busy, over-scheduled urbanites might need their invitations more than a month in advance. It is also a nice touch to go to the Post Office and purchase some special stamps for the invitations, such as roses for a wedding tea.