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We could call this self-purification process an effort to place ourselves in a harmonious state of mind. Harmony is also the essence of afternoon tea. The host or hostess creates a harmonious setting in advance through the careful selection of colors, floral designs, works of art and an appealing presentation of tea and foods that she knows her guests will enjoy. She arranges comfortable seating and makes sure that everyone will feel welcome and included.
The guests contribute to the harmony of the occasion too. They arrive on time with positive expectations and a willingness, through their words and actions, to add to everyone’s enjoyment of this special time together. At a tea party, there are things that need to be consciously left at the door in the same way that we take off our shoes before entering a Japanese home. A tea party is not the time for an intervention or for airing any kind of dirty linen or grievance. Neither is it a time to discuss religion, politics, sports or popular culture.
In fact, there would be a lot more happy holidays if families could apply this principle to our yearly Thanksgiving and Christmas gatherings as well. To create harmony, even among those who may have hurt or disrespected us in the past, all one needs is a grateful heart and a willingness to appreciate the beauty of the moment. This is not repression, denial or dishonesty. It is simply choosing to be civilized.
The guests contribute to the harmony of the occasion too. They arrive on time with positive expectations and a willingness, through their words and actions, to add to everyone’s enjoyment of this special time together. At a tea party, there are things that need to be consciously left at the door in the same way that we take off our shoes before entering a Japanese home. A tea party is not the time for an intervention or for airing any kind of dirty linen or grievance. Neither is it a time to discuss religion, politics, sports or popular culture.
In fact, there would be a lot more happy holidays if families could apply this principle to our yearly Thanksgiving and Christmas gatherings as well. To create harmony, even among those who may have hurt or disrespected us in the past, all one needs is a grateful heart and a willingness to appreciate the beauty of the moment. This is not repression, denial or dishonesty. It is simply choosing to be civilized.
