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    • A Brief History of Tea
    • Philosophy of Tea >
      • Harmony
      • Humility
      • Respect
      • Creativity
    • Guidelines for the Host/Hostess >
      • Gathering and Greeting
      • Sharing Stories
      • Sharing Food
      • Sending the Guests Home
    • Guidelines for the Guest >
      • Respect Your Hostess/Host
      • Bring a Gift if You Wish
      • Practice Humility
      • Monitor Your Conversation
      • Arrive with a Grateful Attitude
      • Help if Help is Needed
      • Do Not Criticize
      • Leave Gracefully
      • Send a Thank You Note
    • A Checklist for Planning a Tea Party
    • Teas of the World and How to Make Tea >
      • A Sampling of Teas
      • Herbal Teas and Tisanes
      • How to Make Tea
      • Making Iced Tea
      • Tea Concentrate
      • Brewing Tea for a Crowd
    • Tea Utensils and Accessories >
      • Tea Kettle
      • Tea Pot
      • Tea Cozy
      • Teacups
      • Plates
      • Silverware
      • Teacart
      • Tea Strainer
      • Tea Infuser
      • Three-Tiered Server
      • Cream Pitcher and Sugar Bowl
      • Cake Pedestal
      • Trifle Bowl
      • Jam Pots
      • Serving Dishes, Platters, and Trays
      • Silver Tea Set or Silver Tray
      • Linens
      • Kitchen Equipment for Food Preparation
    • Tea Menu Basics >
      • Sandwiches and Savories
      • Savory Spreads and Dips
      • Scones and Tea Breads >
        • About Lemons
    • Afternoon Tea and the Four Seasons >
      • A Spring Tea
      • An Outdoor Summer Tea
      • An Autumn Afternoon Tea
      • A Winter Afternoon Tea
    • A Calendar of Tea Parties >
      • January: A Japanese New Year’s Tea
      • February: A Valentine’s Day Tea
      • March: A St. Patrick’s Day Irish Tea
      • April: An Easter Tea
      • May: A Mother’s Day Tea
      • June: A Wedding Reception Tea >
        • Lemon Yogurt Wedding Cake
      • July: A Picnic Tea
      • August: A Family Reunion Tea >
        • A North American Family Reunion Tea
        • An Eastern Mediterranean Family Reunion Tea
        • A Kosher Family Reunion Tea
        • A Scandinavian Family Reunion Tea
      • September: An Ozark Farm Harvest Tea
      • October: A Tea to Honor Our Ancestors (Dia de los Muertos)
      • November: A Post Thanksgiving Tea
      • December: A Christmas Tea >
        • In Defense of Fruitcake: Fruitcakes and Candied Fruit
    • A World of Tea Parties >
      • A Chinese Dim Sum Tea
      • A Portuguese Tea
      • A Classic British Afternoon Tea
      • An Indian Chai Party
      • A California Tea
      • A Hawaiian Tea
      • An Italian Tea
      • An American Southern Tea
      • A Russian Tea
      • A French Afternoon Tea
      • A Kosher Tea with Tradional Jewish Foods
    • Afternoon Tea for Special Occasions >
      • An Afternoon Tea for Children
      • A Tea for Our Elders
      • A Honey Bee Tea in the Garden
      • An Urban Tea on the Go
      • Tea for One
      • Afternoon Tea for a Large Group
      • A Vegan Tea
      • A Rose Tea
  • Purchase Recipes
  • Resources
    • Bibliography and Resources
    • Menu and Recipe Index
    • Commercial Food Products
    • Glossary

Do Not Criticize

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You would never want to intrude upon this sacred space with the slightest hint of criticism, cynicism or self-indulgence. You will not allow yourself to judge your host for poor time management skills. Neither will you allow yourself to think, “That map of Italy tablecloth looks tacky in here.” It is always easy to find fault, and indeed, finding fault has become our national pastime. But it takes the heart of an artist to find beauty and harmony while others dwell on discord.

As you and the other guests enjoy the food your host has prepared for you, set aside any food prejudices you may have. Perhaps you dislike the taste of anise and begin to feel annoyed with your host for adding anise seeds to otherwise perfectly good scones, just to pretend that they are Italian. Your mind wanders to the fact that scones are not and never have been Italian and do not even belong at this party. Discipline yourself to recognize these negative thoughts as a petty form of self-indulgence. Refocus immediately on the beauty of the occasion and the other lovely food items being served. If you really detest anise, skip the scones and eat the tomato, basil and mozzarella sandwiches.

One of the charms of afternoon tea is the fact that the host offers a variety of small bites for his guests to enjoy. Under no circumstances should any guest ever criticize any of the food. Comments like, “These cannoli are soggy. They were obviously sitting in the kitchen too long,” or “Why are your serving manchego?  That’s a Spanish cheese, not Italian,” only feed the speaker’s ego and sense of superiority. Finally, keep in mind that afternoon tea is about the entire gathered community, not you as an individual person. Announcing to everyone that you don’t like anise would only detract from the harmony of the occasion.

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Copyright © 2015 by Epilogics
  • Home
  • About/Blog
    • Who We Are
    • Our Credentials
    • Tea Travels - Rose's Blog
    • Cakes and Tea - Kathleen's Blog
    • Contact Us
  • The Tea Book
    • The Road Back to Civilization
    • A Brief History of Tea
    • Philosophy of Tea >
      • Harmony
      • Humility
      • Respect
      • Creativity
    • Guidelines for the Host/Hostess >
      • Gathering and Greeting
      • Sharing Stories
      • Sharing Food
      • Sending the Guests Home
    • Guidelines for the Guest >
      • Respect Your Hostess/Host
      • Bring a Gift if You Wish
      • Practice Humility
      • Monitor Your Conversation
      • Arrive with a Grateful Attitude
      • Help if Help is Needed
      • Do Not Criticize
      • Leave Gracefully
      • Send a Thank You Note
    • A Checklist for Planning a Tea Party
    • Teas of the World and How to Make Tea >
      • A Sampling of Teas
      • Herbal Teas and Tisanes
      • How to Make Tea
      • Making Iced Tea
      • Tea Concentrate
      • Brewing Tea for a Crowd
    • Tea Utensils and Accessories >
      • Tea Kettle
      • Tea Pot
      • Tea Cozy
      • Teacups
      • Plates
      • Silverware
      • Teacart
      • Tea Strainer
      • Tea Infuser
      • Three-Tiered Server
      • Cream Pitcher and Sugar Bowl
      • Cake Pedestal
      • Trifle Bowl
      • Jam Pots
      • Serving Dishes, Platters, and Trays
      • Silver Tea Set or Silver Tray
      • Linens
      • Kitchen Equipment for Food Preparation
    • Tea Menu Basics >
      • Sandwiches and Savories
      • Savory Spreads and Dips
      • Scones and Tea Breads >
        • About Lemons
    • Afternoon Tea and the Four Seasons >
      • A Spring Tea
      • An Outdoor Summer Tea
      • An Autumn Afternoon Tea
      • A Winter Afternoon Tea
    • A Calendar of Tea Parties >
      • January: A Japanese New Year’s Tea
      • February: A Valentine’s Day Tea
      • March: A St. Patrick’s Day Irish Tea
      • April: An Easter Tea
      • May: A Mother’s Day Tea
      • June: A Wedding Reception Tea >
        • Lemon Yogurt Wedding Cake
      • July: A Picnic Tea
      • August: A Family Reunion Tea >
        • A North American Family Reunion Tea
        • An Eastern Mediterranean Family Reunion Tea
        • A Kosher Family Reunion Tea
        • A Scandinavian Family Reunion Tea
      • September: An Ozark Farm Harvest Tea
      • October: A Tea to Honor Our Ancestors (Dia de los Muertos)
      • November: A Post Thanksgiving Tea
      • December: A Christmas Tea >
        • In Defense of Fruitcake: Fruitcakes and Candied Fruit
    • A World of Tea Parties >
      • A Chinese Dim Sum Tea
      • A Portuguese Tea
      • A Classic British Afternoon Tea
      • An Indian Chai Party
      • A California Tea
      • A Hawaiian Tea
      • An Italian Tea
      • An American Southern Tea
      • A Russian Tea
      • A French Afternoon Tea
      • A Kosher Tea with Tradional Jewish Foods
    • Afternoon Tea for Special Occasions >
      • An Afternoon Tea for Children
      • A Tea for Our Elders
      • A Honey Bee Tea in the Garden
      • An Urban Tea on the Go
      • Tea for One
      • Afternoon Tea for a Large Group
      • A Vegan Tea
      • A Rose Tea
  • Purchase Recipes
  • Resources
    • Bibliography and Resources
    • Menu and Recipe Index
    • Commercial Food Products
    • Glossary